Katie Nelson

As someone who feels completely inadequate to be giving dating advice- I’m like, “Lord, really? Me? Write this? Are you sure?” But I adore the high school girls that the Lord has put in my life- so I’m writing this for them because I kind of wish someone would have taped these things to my forehead from like age 14 to now. I still need to hear them, I still need to be reminded of the Lord’s goodness, faithfulness, and providence. I still need to be asked…

“Where does your security lie? Is God your refuge, your hiding place, your stronghold, your shepherd, your counselor, your friend, your redeemer, your saviour, your guide? If He is, you don’t need to search any further for security.” -Elisabeth Elliot

If I could tell my girls anything, it’s that you are so loved by the Lord. My prayer for you is Ephesians 3:14-19…

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of His glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

When it comes to practical advice for dating or determining who you should date, here’s what I’ve got for you– which has been learned not from doing everything right- but doing a lot of things wrong and discovering the inexplicable joy and grace of Christ…

1. “The heart is deceitful above all else.” –Jeremiah 17:9

2.”For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” -1 Samuel 16:7

3. Beware of the lust of the flesh and emotional relationships. 1 John 2:15-17 & 2 Corinthians 10:5

4. Don’t be unequally yoked. 2 Corinthians 6:14

5. A guy saying he is a Christian isn’t enough. Are the fruits of the Spirit evident in his life? Galatians 5:22

6. You shouldn’t have to look super hard to see the fruits of the Spirit in his life…If you can’t see them, it’s not that they’re hidden- they’re not there. Matthew 5:14-16

7. Guys should lead. Give them the chance to show you that they will do this by allowing them to pursue you. 1 Timothy 2:12-13

8. If a guy truly likes you, he will take the initiative. (Check out the story of Jacob and Rachel. Homeboy was willing to work 14 years for this girl- crazy. I’m not saying that the story of Jacob and Rachel should be the standard for relationships. I’m just saying- guys are willing to endure a lot to get the woman they want. And ladies, you’re worth fighting for. John 3:16)

9. If a guy doesn’t pursue you, he’s not the one God has for you right now. Psalm 27:14

10. Guys who are front and center on stage might look good- but it’s the men who are willing to work diligently in the background- without recognition that are gems. Humble servants. Philippians 2:5-8

11. The best relationships are formed on a foundation of friendship. John 15:12-15

12. Don’t make things happen. When women force what they want, it does not turn out well…Oh hey Eve. Genesis 3:1-7

13. Affirm and encourage men. Appreciate them for who they are, not who you want them to be. 1 Thessalonians 5:4-11

14. Point men toward Christ and encourage them in godliness. Psalm 37:23

15. You may have to make lifestyle changes in order to protect your heart and not be tempted to lust after men or engage in emotional relationships. Matthew 5:29

16. God is more than enough. Acts 17:28

Bonus: God has a plan for your life- don’t be caught in the trap of thinking that your life will start once you’re married. God wants to use you right now. He’s given you certain gifts and abilities- and the freedom to pursue those things! Enjoy life. Make a difference for Him. Ephesians 2:10

 “I will extol the Lord at all times. His praise will always be on my lips.” –Psalm 34:1

What do you think? Would you add anything to this?