Male Perspective :: What I Wish Women Knew…

Last week, we posted the article “5 Things I Wish Guys Knew” where Tracy Edwards gave some insight into the female interpretation of girl/guy interaction. This week, Josiah Krause is representing the male perspective and we’re so grateful! Let’s keep the conversation going as we seek to honor the Lord and each other in every area of our lives.

Josiah2
-Josiah Krause-
Read more from Josiah in his last post, “Amped Contentment.”

What I Wish Women Knew…

1.)   Women should assume that until he expresses interest, they’re just friends.

If I am going to learn the concept of servant leadership I must be allowed to practice it without my actions being perceived as hints of romantic interest.  God’s Will for your life is not to find out if a guy is interested in you, for if that is your focus, you’ve taken your focus off God.

Ladies, I would imagine taking on this approach may be extremely difficult… Your submissive approach in this delicate process requires great strength of character and trust in God.  I pray as men we have open eyes to see and a thankful Spirit to praise and encourage your embrace of godly femininity.

2.)   Men fear being bold for Christ in any circumstance when they take their eyes off Christ. 

“So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water towards Jesus.  But when he saw the strong wind and waves, he was terrified and began to sink. ‘Save me, Lord!’ he shouted.  Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him.  ‘You have so little faith,’ Jesus said. ‘Why did you doubt me?’ When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped.  Then the disciples worshiped him.  ‘You really are the Son of God!’ they exclaimed.” – Matthew 14:29-33.

If my boldness in pursuing you is void of the Holy Spirit’s authority on my life, my pursuits are of this world and cannot be trusted.  “Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.” – James 1:6

“I hate those with divided loyalties, but I love your instructions.  You are my refuge and my shield; your word is my source of hope.” – Psalm 119:113-114

“Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life —is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.” -1 John 2:15-17

3.)   We over-spiritualize decision making.

I am guilty of this one.

I think I read passages like… The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him.” – Genesis 2:18 

Then, upon soaking in that truth, I read from the apostle Paul…

“Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.” – 1 Corinthians 7:8

My tragic and humbling response appears to be, I will follow the truths of Scripture to the extent my pride is threatened.  At this point, I begin to sink amidst the stormy waters of my fear and insecurity apart from God.  I pray our desire to live simply and trust God would overshadow the desire to seek fulfillment in this world and glorify ourselves.

“Our responsibility is to love Him, study His word, deepen our relationship with Him, and learn to evaluate our choices in light of biblical wisdom.  If we’re doing these things, we can make our decisions in the confidence that we aren’t somehow missing God’s will.” – Boy Meets Girl, Joshua Harris.

“There are two ways to get enough: one is to continue to accumulate more and more.  The other is to desire less.” – G.K. Chesterton

“God made man simple; man’s complex problems are of his own devising.” – Ecclesiastes 7:29

——

Huge thank you to Tracy & Josiah for sharing their thoughts! Seriously so appreciate both of you!

Is there anything you would add from the female or male perspective?  Or, do you have any other questions? 

3 thoughts on “Male Perspective :: What I Wish Women Knew…

  1. I totally agree with #1 for the most part. If we are not 100% totally secure in Christ, (and even if we are,) we can be putting a big chunk of our self-esteem on the line to take that initiative as well. It can be a very scary thing to voice that interest if we don’t know it will be reciprocated, just as it can be frustrating to you that we don’t just man up and ask.

    I’d say the best thing women could do is not necessarily take the initiative, but be inviting. The Bible shows Ruth just putting on a nice dress and laying down next to Boaz at the grain pile. She didn’t need to say anything, or send a friend to say, “Hey, you know… Ruth is pretty cool, and she’d totally go out if you asked.” Granted, most of us men are pretty clueless when it comes to subtle hints.

    The other thing that women can do is just help men be secure in Christ first. As Josiah said, we’re overspiritualizing this decision and we’re scared that if we do it, we might divide our loyalties and put you above our relationship with God. The best relationships I have been in are ones where we both mutually were in love with Christ and bumped heads on our way to seeking Him. There are a lot of things you can do to build a brother up in Christ. The biggest things are encouraging us and telling us that you are proud of us. Respect is a huge thing to a man. If we know that you are proud of us and that you think we are good men, we’re a lot more likely to screw up the courage to ask you to walk with us in our journey with Christ.

  2. #1 is a great thing to be reminded of. I’ve been learning that as we continue to delve into scripture and really act it out, we become more loving, and that’s to everyone (hopefully!), not just people of our same gender. And since being loving in a sincerely Godly way is sort of rare in the world these days, it can easily be taken as romantic interest if that’s what the other person is focused on, but this cannot stop us from being loving / becoming more like Jesus! (Though we should continue to allow God to examine our heart and our intent, and we should be in continuous prayer as we let the Spirit guide us in everything we do, hopefully leading us to love in a way that leads people to Jesus and not more to ourselves.)

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