After multiple male/female relationship miscommunication experiences, I finally came to the conclusion that guys need a guide to girls… and likewise, girls probably need a guide to guys. So although I can’t help with the latter, I’ll take a stab at the first part:)
Let me preface this by saying that writing a complete guide to girls is definitely impossible (I googled it and found nothing except this post where one guy tried). But, here are a few things that I hope might clear up some confusion…
A Guys’ Guide to Girls —
Guys, I hope this helps! And also, please write me a guide:)
#1 – Thoughtful gestures mean a lot! They don’t have to be over the top, but thoughtfulness counts. Taking time to invest in details… ah… so sweet!
#2 – Set logic to the side sometimes. Hey, we need your logical, practical, efficient-ness. But, we also need you to put it on the shelf at times. i.e. Yes flowers die, so that makes them seem like a waste of money from your logical perspective – but we love them for the time we have them! And then, you can buy us more:) It’s like God created them so that you could continue to wow us – receiving flowers never gets old!! (check out the Instagram #boyfriend for more proof and other gift ideas:))
>>Boyfriend comment: “God created flowers so we could breathe.” Ah yes… also that:)
#3 – Let us do stuff for you. In the same way that you like to take care of us, we like to take care of you. Accept it:) And let the cycle of bless and be blessed carry on:) It means a lot to us. And help us to think of ways that we can serve you and love you if we’re missing it. We don’t want to add stress to your life, and we don’t want to do things you really don’t care about.
#4 – We’re emotional, hug us. Whether we’re in the mood to admit it or not, we’re emotional (see this article on Women & Emotions) … and it’s not a bad thing. I think it’s a confusing thing – for both genders, trust me. Personally, I don’t love being so emotional. But, instead of fighting it, try to embrace it – and us. Most of the time, we just need a hug and for you to listen to us. At least that’s a good place to start:) And then probably refer to #1 :)
#5 – We want to be understood. This is probably a daunting thought – trying to understand women. However! The good news is that you don’t have to understand everything. Ask us questions. We love to feel like you want to understand us and that you want to get to know us and that you care about what we think, feel, believe.
#6 – Everything runs together in our minds. That’s why girls are compared to spaghetti. (Guys you’re waffles.) In the same way spaghetti noodles all touch each other and overlap on your plate, girls process information in a way where everything runs together. Earlier this week, I asked my boyfriend if I could drop off cookies to his work because I knew it had been a hard week for him and his coworkers. He thought it would be more convenient if he just brought them the next day. This led to me becoming upset, but it was not just because he thought it more efficient for him to bring cookies to his coworkers the next day. It was because he’s been super busy and I wanted to show that I cared, and I felt like he didn’t want to see me even if it was only for a second whereas I was totally willing to make the effort to see him even if it was only for a second… and I was trying to do something nice and he seemed to not want me to. This plays into my fears of trying too hard in relationships and not having that care reciprocated – which is totally me. I always love more. If you are completely lost, at least Jessica Day understands me:) But, this is where you can refer to this list. I hope 1-5 will be helpful:)
A final thought: I don’t understand boys either, so this is a journey. It’s a fun and crazy ride. Don’t give up on us, guys! We won’t give up on trying to understand and love you:)
I’m sure there is so much more, so help me out! Ladies & gents, what would you add to aid us in understanding your gender?
Share your thoughts…