I’ve been thinking a lot the last few days about turning 25… it’s not happening tomorrow, in fact I still have about 6 more months until my age bumps up a notch, but for some reason it’s been on my mind a lot.

25 & Dating – I think I was explaining to a friend how awkward it feels to think about dating as a 25 year old. Yep, that’s what happened. I rounded up. I was trying to be dramatic to make the point that you’re allowed to have awkward moments when you date as a teenager, but it’s so much worse in your mid-20s to wonder if a guy likes you, go on a first date, get upset over a break up, etc. It’s like there’s this voice saying, “Seriously, you’re 25. Get over it. Get a life. Act like an adult.”

Adulthood – That’s the other thing: 25 seems like the official adult age. Twenty-five. Mid-20s. Fly somewhere. Rent a car at your destination. Have your life together. Do mid-20s things like get married, have your own family, have an Ikea filled apartment, have a “real” job that pays you lots of money.

Reality – But, my life doesn’t look like that at all.  And I like that. Sometimes, though, it’s hard not fitting into culture’s idea of “normal”… actually, a lot of times it can be really hard- especially when I begin to fixate on society’s standards or start comparing my life to those around me. Charles Spurgeon said,

“God is so boundlessly pleased with Jesus that in Him, He is altogether well pleased with us.”

The real question is, will I take time to sit with Jesus and soak in God’s healing, peace-giving, challenging, transforming words? The last few days, I totally haven’t. I’ve been so focused on being productive, working hard, and doing the best I can to be acceptable, do enough… just make it. Make something of myself – or like make those around me proud, hoping they think I’m working hard and not slacking. I haven’t been most concerned about what God thinks about me, which is why I’m probably anxiously anticipating the life implications of turning 25 six months before it happens.

Instead, I want to abide in God’s love.

Because apart from Him, I can do nothing. John 15:5.

And, at the same time, I want to be an adult. But, I want to be an adult in the sense of a person that glorifies the Lord in every aspect. That’s what I pray I will be even now, because I’m realizing being an “adult” doesn’t just happen by putting on adult clothes to drive from your adult apartment in your adult car to work at your adult job. It’s a process, and one I pray that Lord is working in to shape me. Areas I know I need to work on: not making excuses, doing what needs to be done, but doing it all in dependence on the Lord – knowing that I can’t do anything on my own. It’s so counter culture and counter intuitive – dependence on the Lord is wisdom and self-reliance is foolishness. But dependence on the Lord does not mean laziness, it means prayerful action and patient perseverance, and joyfulness in the midst of trials because you know God’s Word, you have it hidden in your heart- and God’s Word is true and unchanging and you’ve experienced His faithfulness and you share the stories of what He’s done, and you don’t shy away from hard circumstances but embrace them with excited vigor knowing like David did, that God can use a pebble to overcome a gigantic mountain of adversity. With God, all things are possible- including, dominating adulthood, swimming upstream for life, and living in light of eternity in a world that tells you all you can do is live for the moment.

Lord, help me to live in a way that doesn’t prove I’m a capable adult but a helpless sinner saved by and motivated by bountiful grace.